I watched "My Fair Lady" a few days ago, with the beautiful and talented Audrey Hepburn, after years of not watching it. I didn't even remember many of the details in the movie, I saw it only onve when I was little. I realized it's an incredibly awesome movie.

There's a part in the movie where she sings a very particular song to Freddy: "Show me". It's about how men talk the walk, but never walk the walk.

This is exactly how I feel right now.

1:13 AM.

This guy that fixes closets came to my house today and made a mess of everything. Long story short, I ended up sleeping on the couch. It was cold as hell, so I grabbed quite a few blankets and wore I don't know how many layers of pajamas and sweaters.

I wrote on mu journal a bit, about this and that. You know, depressing stuff. I hate this stage in my life where I can't write about other things, other thoughts. I would love to be done with being negative all the time. It's getting dull.

Over and out.

My favorite month. My december's always slow, as if the cold made the seconds slower. It makes the clock go slower. 

I'm painting again. Today I finished a new semester, so I finally have time. I have this beautiful picture in my mind and I'm all ready to put it on a canvas.

Why the scarfs and the chimneys and the hot chocolate? Why do we grow so adicted to them in the winter? I know why. All of them produce heat. Although, heat is more beautiful with a single scarf around two people kissing each other. Heat is more soft when a single chimney keeps two bodies warm. Heat is sweeter when a single cup of hot chocolate is shared by two people.

The senses are hightened this season. If I cry, I cry an entire waterfall. If I laugh, I laugh hyterically.

I incidentally am in need for warmth, and love, and care. And touch.

"Life is a rollercoaster. You just gotta ride it."

I'm in college, so everything's pretty much a rollercoaster. Classes, homeworks, exams, meeting new people.

I love singing. And dancing. And acting. So, I'm kinda doing some of that with my free time, when I'm not studying my ass off for some test.

I love my major. Psychology. It's fun and entertaining, I think I made the right choice studying this.

But my heart wants to study music. Always has. Maybe someday I will, when I'm done here. I hope I can do it someday. I will do it someday.

I know somewhere out there there's a Prince Charming for me. Yes, I grew up -like every other girl- with the Disney channel. I created this idea of someone "rescuing" me (though I don't know what he'll be rescuing me from) and sweeping me off to a castle in Neverland or something.

No, reality is quite different. But I still have hope. Hope that someday I'll find someone who'll fill me with so much love, someone to travel the world with, someone to forma  family with. My adventure man, with whom I'll do everything with.

He will be my everything.

I love watching those "acciones poéticas" on the street. They're small poems or phrases or lyrics that someone writes on abandoned walls around the city, that somehow inspire people who read them.

I wish I was that brave. Promoting love and peace that way, to touch hearts.

I like taking pictures of them. Of every wall I see with one of those messages. I keep them on my laptop and maybe someday I'll use them for... I dunno.

One of my best friends left for Philippines today. He's never coming back and I will miss him terribly every day. I love you, friend. Please write and don't forget what we had.

Super weird dream last night.

I was standing in a type of valley. In a tiny island, really. And there was a huge circle of waterfalls around me. The island wasn't realy an island, it was under the water. The water covered my legs. And in the middle of everything, a kiosk that really looked like a weeping willow tree.

I felt a presence near me. A dark and fainted figure, like a man. Or a ninja. I have no idea, people, it was a dream. I remembered I was afraid of this person, not like afraid of death or anything like that, but maybe fear of the unknown. I looked for him everywhere, but I couldn't see him.

I began to run, frightened, in all directions. He kept hiding from me. I couldn't run fast because the water was blocking my way.

When I couldn't run anymore, the waterfalls were silenced. Yes, like in a movie when they turn the volume down slowly. And then, there was complete silence. I felt peace suddenly. I turned around and there he was, five centimeters away from my face. His face was covered with a black cloth, or mask. I couldn't see hgis face, except for his eyes and his lips.

My hand tried to take his mask off, but he stopped me. And kissed me. Passionately.

And then I woke up, goddammit. I hate when that happens. Handsome ninja kisses you and you wake up. Obviously I couldn't fall back asleep because idiot brother is always screaming and singing -quite terribly- around the house.

Oh, well... Maybe I'll dream with my mystery ninja again, someday.

I love waterfalls.

They're like, totally awesome. They're soothing and caotic at the same time. A little bit like a guy I met today. He's totally awesome and soothing and caotic. He's crazy funny and I swear he made me laugh until I peed my pants a little. Or skirt. Don't remember at all what I was wearing.

He's got the most beautiful eyes ever.

No, I have no romantic attachments to him whatsoever. He just caught my eye in a friendly way. He's not my type at all, on the contrary.

I kind of hated him a little bit for having a perfect flock of hair. My hair is a big mess. I know I will someday remember this years as my "bad hair years". But he... He has princess-like, blonde, silky hair. Damn him.

I'm glad we're friends. I'm glad I met this waterfall man. And I'm also very glad he doesn't know this blog exists so he won't ever read this. Yay!

So, goodbye. Yes, I know you read this blog and I've no reason to keep on writing to you like this. I've written and entire journal everyday I wasn't with you, and it has got to stop.

I saw you one last time. And I gave you three kisses. One kiss on your cheek, to thank you for everything you gave me and everything I learned from you in our time together. On kiss on your hand, asking for forgiveness for every dumb thing I did that may or may no thave hurt you. And one kiss on your forehead, wishing you the best in your life and hoping you find someone who fits better in your life and in your heart.

Officially over and will -eventually- get over all this.

I turned 19 this week and I've realized... I hate men. Not men, guys. I've never really met a man, per say. I've only encountered small, little, whiny boys who wouldn't know a woman if she passed right in front of him.

No, I guess I'm not what you would call a real woman just yet, but I'm not a little girl either.

I guess I'd rather just be with my friends and be done with dating for good. At least for now.

I guess it has something to do with the fact that I'm young and stupid. I don't get how someone can love you one day and completely forget you exist the next. Like the big dumbass I am, I finally realized he never really loved me.

I'm 17. I will find love again, so whatever. Life goes on.

I honestly have absolutely nothing to say, besides the fact the I completely and utterly love swings. That's it, thank you.